Thursday, July 26, 2007

Difficult People Week 4 - Hypocrital People

Difficult People – 4

Hypocritical

- we’ve always got room for one more

You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: “’These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” Matthew 15:7-8

We could call them spiritual posers, or pretenders in the pews, those who claim Christ, but their life does not reflect His teachings whatsoever. Jesus called them hypocrites.

hupokrites (hoop-ok-ree-tace’); an actor; stage-player, one who hides behind a mask, hypocrite.

- actors would walk off stage and switch between masks.

HOW DID JESUS HANDLE HYPOCRISY?

…you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices-mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law-justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

Matthew 23:23-24

2 Biblical Principles on how to deal with hypocrisy

1. JESUS CONFRONTED HYPOCRISY.

2. JESUS MAJORED ON THE MAJORS.

He only confronted the big issues or the dangerous ones.

Christians can often zero in on the things that don’t really matter.

“You’re church isn’t right with God because of the way people dress…”

But God looks at the heart.

“The music is too this or that..”

God’s not going “I’m more of a Dashboard fan”

HOW DO WE CONFRONT?

Brothers (This is Christ followers correcting Christ Followers), if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:1-2

1) CONFRONT WITH CAUTION.

...restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Galatians 6:1b

- you risk pride

- people will test you, and your sins will find you out.

- you have to do it with your best interests in mind.

***video***

2) CONFRONT WITH THE GOAL OF

RESTORATION.

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. Galatians 6:1

restore: katartizo (kat-ar-tid’-zo); to perfectly repair; make better than new.

My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins. James 5:19-20

[Review the First two points]

3) CONFRONT WITH COMMITMENT.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

As we confront, we also commit to carry each other’s burdens. And, in so doing, we will do what Christ calls us to do. I like the Greek word that is translated as carry.

carry: bastazo (bas-tad’-zo); to lift, to sustain, take up.

So, when we confront, we don’t just say, “You are wrong. Check you later.” What we do is say, “We are here because we love you, and we will be here for you no matter what.”

It doesn’t take anything to criticize, but It takes true love to confront.

- tell them a story of life change that came from confrontation

Everybody take a deep breathe!

We’re about to turn up the heat.

WHAT IF YOU ARE THE HYPOCRITE?

David saw something he shouldn’t see and acted on it.

Nathan loved him enough to do something about it.

And he told him a story.

Once upon a time, there were two men. One was filthy rich. He had sheep and cattle galore. The other was very, very poor, and this poor man, although good, was poor. He had only one little lamb, and this little lamb, he had raised since birth. It was like his own pet. This little lamb would actually sleep beside the guy at night, and the man deeply loved his one little lamb. One day, a traveler came to the very rich man and said, ‘I’m hungry. Will you give me something to eat?’ The traveler, the rich man, rather than taking one of his own thousands of lambs, took the one lamb that belonged to the poor man, slaughtered it, and killed it and offered it to the traveler.’ “ David could not believe that someone could commit such a horrendous sin, and he responded this way.

David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.” Then Nathan said to David, “attah iysh”You are the man! 2 Samuel 12:4-7

The spirit will say to many of you…. you are the man: attah iysh

And it is time for you to repent today.

- if we’re going to call ourselves Christ followers lets be Christ followers.

IF we confess our sins to God He is faithful and just to forgive.

So, today, in the presence of God, come humbly before Him. Let us be the real things. Not perfect, but hearts broken and humble before God. If you would be the attah iysh, let your heart break open. Confess, repent, and let God make you better than new.

If you know someone who is not living the truth and you want to pray for them, just lift your hands and we’ll pray for them

Second, if you are someone who isn’t living a real life for God.. You’re acting one way here and another way else ware, just raise up your hands and repent.

Give your sin a name and tell God what it is

And ask him humbly “Please forgive me”

If you’ve told God and ask forgiven let me tell you what he says “You’re forgiven”

Now its time to ask God for the strength to overcome this sin

And I’ve got news “the bible says that when you’re weak, he’s strong”

AFTER DAVID FACED HIS SIN, HE PRAYED…

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:10-12

Difficult People Week 3 Manipulative People

· JACOB MANIPULATED ESAU. Gen. 25:29-34

· WOMEN MANIPULATED HEROD. Mark 6:21-26

· DELILAH MANIPULATED SAMSON. Judg 16:15-16

Then she said to him, "How can you say, 'I love you,' when you won't confide in me?...16 With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death. Judg 16:15-16

…couldn’t stand it any longer…NLT

…vexed his soul unto death…KJV Amen.

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How many of you – have someone – would control you if they could?

Put both hands in the air – just seeing if I still have control – Yes –

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MANIPULATORS’ GREATEST WEAPONS:

· They love to use Threats:

o If you want to work here, you’ll do this.

o If you don’t do this, I’m leaving you.

o If you don’t tell me, I’m hanging up.

o If you don’t pay more attention to me, I’m taking you out of my will.

o If you don’t do this, you are not getting any of that.

· Guilt:

o If you love me, you’d do what I ask.

o After all I’ve done for you; you won’t do this one thing.

o Silent treatment: I’m not talking to you right now.

o Thought we were close; obviously I can’t count on you.

o If you don’t do this, you’re not good Xian.

o If you don’t meet my needs, I’ll find another way to get them met.

BREAKING THE POWER OF MANIPULATION

1) RECOGNIZE WHEN SOMEONE IS TRYING TO CONTROL YOU.

Most people do this unconsciously…

…Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem…and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. 22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. "Never, Lord!" he said. "This shall never happen to you!" Matt 16:21-22

Peter took Jesus aside – manipulators lose power in groups.

Some are predators – calculated – some do it unintentionally

Peter didn’t mean any harm – just wanted his plan for Jesus’ life.

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE BEING MANIPULATED?

· You can’t say “no” to a certain person.

o When you’d like to say no, you feel like you’re obligated, it’s like your under their control. And you may be being manipulated and you’re allowing it if you’re there.

· You always feel guilty. (can’t have any fun, exclusive loyalty)

o This happens in a lot of relationships like when you’re going out to have fun and you feel guilty.

· You feel ultimately responsible. (fear letting down)

o I should have done more, I should have been there for them.

· You compromise your values to please others.

o You find yourself doing things that you usually wouldn’t do… (sexual)

§ You’ll find someone who turns up the heat

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You have to verbalize and then show it.

2) THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK ON ME.

- in the past you could control., but not anymore

- now I don’t do what people want, I do what God wants.

Look at what Jesus said to Peter.

Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." Matt 16:21-23

This is not going to work on me – then, call them Satan! J

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Not going to allow another person to control my life.

· If someone else has control, you are committing the sin of idolatry.

o Thou shall have no other Gods before me

§ You can never become all that God wants you to be if you become a people pleaser.

Lawnmower/shopping cart dance- Dysfunctional Dance

When you change the dance you’re going to Step on their toes, then they’re going to squeeze harder and you might want to go to the old dance

the dance has change

You better be prepared to defend it and it’s going to be hard because sparks are gonna fly.

But hang in there.

Because you’re going to be doing what God wants and not what someone else wants.

The only way you can learn a new dance is to break the rhythm of the first one.

1. you have to recognize when someone is trying to control you

2. You have to say “this is not going to work on me”

3) REDEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP.

Jesus allowed Peter to fail

Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." John 21:16

Learn the two-handed backhand – tempting to go back

Obviously, I'm not trying to be a people pleaser! No, I am trying to please God. If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ's servant. Gal 1:10 NLT

There’s two scenarios that I want to run by you

First how many of you are being controlled by manipulators , “Yes I’ve allowed someone to control me, but I want to break free”

Second, that you’re a controller, that you probably do so out of fear, that you do think that you might try to manipulate things to make them go a way that you see fit and it’s affecting others, but you want to be free of that.

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Some want to meet God on their terms, but life doesn’t work that way.

You might say “yeah I’m not perfect all the time, but there are some good things that I do that way:

But life doesn’t work that way.

God can’t be controlled or convinced, he can only be known through a life long relationship.

And just like any other healthy relationship you cannot control Him, but He can change your life through His love.

It’s starts like any other relationship and that’s through a conversation with Him.